1-23: it's my birthdate and...

...how many steps it takes to setup my PC almost everyday at work

Do you see what I see?

Please tell me I'm not on crack
(or whatever it was that had Alice trippin' in Wonderland)

My Imagination:

My Doorknob:

To quoth the great Mugatu: "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"

Tie Food anyone?

It's a sad truth, but I would rather feed my tie collection than buy food sometimes. Since I'm a food snob that easily spends more than a healthy tithe on eating out that should place perspective on where I rank my tie collection.

Ever since living in England (home to some of the greatest ties) I have developed a mild addiction to filling the tie racks in my closet. Por ejemplo, I could go out to eat at X, Y, or Z and spend $30 on a meal or grab a slice from Este Pizza for $3.00 and "save" enough to buy that tie I saw on Saturday. I'm pretty sure a therapist would call this bargaining, a housewife would call this justifying, and I, well I simply consider this a normal spending habit. It's a mutation of the "sunk cost" theory (I know, I should have paid more attention in Economics 110). After living in the South I have also added a small collection of bow ties. It's funny how wearing a bow tie (outside of a wedding reception line) is shocking in Utah, then again sometimes I forget where I live. Tailors along the Wasatch Front specialize in letting out waistlines and replacing buttons on poly-blend double breasted suits from Mr. Mac.

Don't think I am a man without boundaries, I draw the line at bolo ties. I took an oath to never EVER wear one and intend to keep that promise. I also try to not spend too much on neckties - sure I have a few Purple Label Ralph Lauren & Hermes ties but those were on sale people, on Sale! Now I sound like my mother when she buys 40 Salsa Choppers because they were "a good deal." Eh, I got over it, so can you.

Now if the weather would transition to spring that would be great. It's hard to explain why someone would wear bright spring ties when it's 50 degrees, windy, and raining. Hey, all I can say is sometimes I live in denial.

because JDate.com has Monica Lewinsky

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

Overdue Fees + the Road to Hell?

As the old cliché states: The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. My intentions are rarely bad, but the good ones can lead to tangents in my life. As much as you can plot out and implement plans, things rarely go according to the original scheme.

For example: Once upon a time my friend Kirk had loaned a book to someone and they took 2 years to return it.

I remember distinctly, he said how he forgot he even owned the book, let alone whom he lent it to. He mentioned that it was one of his all-time favorites and that I would probably like it. Yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. I accepted the kind offer and made the remark that I would not take two years to read it. I would report back with my thoughts shortly and we could discuss its merits at length.

Jump forward to the present day…

I am happy to report that I have indeed finished Atlas Shrugged. [insert applause, launch the fireworks, & notify the parade marshal to get the show moving]

This is where I would typically make my plea for you to withhold chastisement and judgments but I deserve what I get. Most people have a more productive reading schedule for a 24-month period but not me. This book left me with distaste for the nature of business and the puppet masters that manipulate industry. Before I wax long on interpretive philosophy let’s just say it was a good book, I see it for what it is, and am glad to be done with it (it's up there with the Grapes of Wrath).

In the end, I am walking away with the realization that I need reading glasses and that it might be a while before Kirk lets me borrow another book. I was glad, actually honored, to perpetuate the tradition of the 2-year loan for Atlas Shrugged. Seems that Kirk has a bunch of friends that read at a leisurely (if not completely impaired) pace. True Story.

Franz Ferdinand

The spring/summer concerts have begun and Franz Ferdinand was the right way to start things off.

With a little arm twisting and emailing I got Brian to join me for aural extravaganza. The Smith's made it too, stalwarts at front row center seating.

The venue was perfect, the Avalon Theater is not too small, very personal. The fans made for prime people watching, so many huggers, so many freakishly tall people. The music was rad and the guys set a new standard for encores - it was a mini-show with instrumental props. When the band performed a drum solo (together, you had to be there) it reached Legen...wait for it...Dairy status.

Here are a few picks for those that missed out:

The Crowd

Group Drum "Solo"

Live Remix of a few tracks

Sonic Cranberry Limeade, perfect for post-concert dehydration

Facebook Pitfalls for those Lacking Common Sense

I'm sending out a S.O.S...from Table #7

This is what happens when friends don't call friends to bail them out of work obligations. I simply asked for one phone call by 7:00 PM tonight so I could be 'that guy' that has to mysteriously exit a dinner program. Did I get any love? N-O. Did I stay for the whole thing? Just look at the picture, seems the Marriott is now giving away flowery hair accessories with every dessert. Any takers?

PS: I missed out on Wicked for this, yes...this.

PC v Mac

Take a wild guess which side is running Windows and which is running OSX...I'm Matt and I'm a Mac!

TexMex on a whole new level

The things you miss out on when you no longer live in the Lonestar state.



This makes me cringe on a deep, deep level.

Held Hostage by LHM Pirates

There's nothing more annoying than being forced to sit in the waiting area for car service. It's only for tag renewals but I can't wait to hear all of the things malfunctioning on my car.

15-Minute Video Break: for your Monday morning

Just another way to spend 15 minutes on a Monday (because your inbox and to-do list can wait a little bit longer)

A keeper, my sister can quote this one all day long:


If Zac can't make it through freshman year of college how is there ever going to be a Law School Musical?:


Episode #2, because we all could use a little more "exuhcise."

This ain't no church party, it's B-I-N-G-O

Bingo is ALWAYS better when it's run by drag queens. I'm glad so many people showed up to raise money for MS research.

*Remember to keep your elbows off of the table, no one wants a party foul (well, some do - they really like wearing wigs).

Good Friday Invasion

Our building was visited by Knights of the Roundtable, a kid on a scooter, the female Jesus (cross included), and various praying pedestrians today. I guess the lawyer factory needed to be cleansed, forgiven of the future evil we produce, and blessed to see the light.

I wish I got a better picture of the musicians - their monk robes were the clincher for me. Jesus Rocks!

Clothing Conundrum

It can easily be said that I am a clean person; it’s actually a blatant fact. I believe that I am just two notches below the standard for being clinically diagnosed with OCD tendencies. Strangely enough this does not apply across the board, especially when talking about doing laundry. Mind you, the smell of freshly laundered linens is one of my favorites but once I discovered air freshener that replicates that smell there has been a diminished incentive to make laundry day be a priority. This reprioritization has led me to the crossroads between laziness and sheer genius. I keep finding myself asking (and answering) the following question about every three weeks:

Do I do laundry or just buy new clothes? Many times my answer has been buy, buy, buy new clothes and let the dirty ones pile up high.

Before you go judging me about sartorial recycling, know that my neat-freakish tendencies prevent me from wearing dirty clothes. I have an abundance of clothes that has ultimately allowed for my reluctance to spend time in the dungeon of dingy duds, the sudsy sauna of spin cycles, that lair of laborious laundry (aka: my building's basement where the shared set of washers and dryers live). The joy of pulling a piece of clothing straight from the dryer and putting it on as I run out the door is a luxury I am estranged from. The ease of throwing in a load and abandoning it on a Saturday like Punky Brewster’s mom did to her is not a an option I have these days. Trying to find time to do laundry is hard enough, trying to have one of those times align with the availability of a washer and dryer is another thing. There are few things more annoying that hauling stuff to the basement and opening a washer to find it piled high with someone’s Wal*Mart granny panties. [Take your time to dwell on that image, it’s OK, take all the time you need.]

Back to me and my issues…

When the supplies of essentials has recently run low I seem to steer my car towards Nordstrom Rack (I’m frugal, if not exactly fiscally prudent) instead of the laundry detergent aisle of the closest grocery store. In all fairness, the joys of new socks outweigh the need to wash and matchup worn ones. In times of economic crisis’ this is how I choose to stimulate our economy. My laundering laziness can help in some small way; in my heart of hearts I know it’s true. On the scale of ridiculous this might be tipping the scale towards insanity but if this were New York I would have someone do my laundry (by the pound) but I’m in Utah, UTAH people! I’m here and I don’t have three wives to wash, fold, and press my shameless amounts of clothing.

It’s a vicious cycle and one that might require attention at some point in time but I think I have it under control, after all, I am typing this as I do 4 loads of laundry. True Story.

Home Videos

I'm not a law student, but I play one on TV.

Another day in the office

The things that cross my desk (an into my inbox) on a Wednesday are not so much different than Monday or Tuesday. A quick visit to youtube.com, cnn.com. npr.org, sltrib.com (sadly, but true), and in the mix of everything this article was passed my way. Not sure how up to date you are in your ambassador tracking but really, you should know about this.


Reposted from the NY Times, click here for original link

Op-Ed Contributor

Where’s Our Man in Iraq?

By JOHN KAEL WESTON

Published: April 5, 2009

Baghdad

A PROMINENT tribal sheik — the top vote-getter in January’s Provincial Council election in Anbar Province — recently told me and Marine leaders in Falluja that Iraqis were concerned that no one had heard from or seen the new American ambassador. This influential man wondered aloud if Washington policymakers were purposely and deviously pursuing a strategy of silence.

Of course, the sheik logically assumed that the United States would not leave its largest embassy diplomatically rudderless at such a crucial juncture. To our embarrassment, he assumed wrong: The United States has not had an ambassador in Iraq since Ryan Crocker left Baghdad on Feb. 13. The nomination of Christopher R. Hill, President Obama’s designated representative, remains tied up in the Senate. And the longer we go without an ambassador, the more a disservice — and a dangerous one at that — we do to our 140,000-plus troops and diplomats and to the Iraqi people.

When the Marine commanders and I visited the charismatic sheik’s dusty, gaudy compound near the Euphrates River to share a dinner of lamb, rice and kebabs, we discussed just one of many pressing political issues — the future of the Anbar-based tribal Awakening movement that he helped lead, and which had beat back Sunni extremists and Qaeda terrorists in the once-volatile region. Whether the sheik’s followers would support the central government and whether national leaders will pay them and integrate them into the country’s security forces are crucial questions.

Anbar Province has come a long way since our invasion in 2003 and the two bloody battles of Falluja in 2004. So has Iraq. But Iraq’s internal politics have always been complicated — and they are getting even more complicated as we begin efforts to reduce the number of our troops here. Now more than ever, our top general in four-star uniform needs a pinstriped State Department partner who will fight the political wars raging here. (These are my own views, not those of the State Department.)

The list of issues that will confront our new ambassador is long: Arab-Kurd tensions. The lack of an oil revenue-sharing law. The status of the city of Kirkuk. Iran as next-door neighbor. Disputed territories. Nonsectarian security forces. New governing coalitions. Human rights for detainees. (Abu Ghraib hangs heavily here still.) To make progress on each front, an ambassador’s last-word voice — sometimes soft and sometimes loud — is required in delicate, closed-door discussions with Iraqi leaders.

Among the most urgent of these issues, indeed the most pressing, is a recent outbreak of fighting in Baghdad between the Sons of Iraq (a Sunni group that likely includes at least some former insurgents) and the Iraqi Army — with American units in the combustible mix. This situation, brought on by the detention of a prominent though controversial local leader, has called into question larger Iraqi government-led national reconciliation initiatives.

Convincing the fractious spectrum of Iraqi religious and ethnic communities that the United States remains committed to fostering an enduring nonsectarian Iraq cannot be a part-time job; it requires full-time and top-level effort. Nor should the task rest primarily on the shoulders of our able military leadership and the highly regarded current No. 2, Robert Ford, who is fluent in Arabic and has served several tours in Iraq already.

Only an American ambassador can bring sufficient swagger to the Green Zone’s local politico circuit. Zalmay Khalilzad, the envoy who preceded Mr. Crocker, is making the rounds here in Baghdad; he is a savvy political operator, to be sure, but no longer acting in any official capacity — and that lack of official credentials matters.

I trust that our distinguished and deliberative senators will understand the current, and urgent, Iraqi dynamic and visualize the deep and overflowing diplomatic in-box on the ambassador’s vacant desk. Further delays and Capitol Hill maneuverings are lost in translation over here, among both the Iraqis and the Americans serving our country in these dangerous deserts.

A key Anbar tribal leader’s dinner invitation awaits the new American ambassador. Expect the sheik to show off the three pictures that are prominently displayed in his spacious marble-floored gathering room: one taken with George W. Bush; a second with Mr. Obama, then a senator; and, my favorite, a large glossy photo of the elaborately robed sheik in white tribal dress with gold trim standing alongside Katie Couric clad in full body armor. Expect lively — and essential — political conversation over tea and kebabs as well.

Our country can ill afford for the ambassador not to answer this invitation, and soon.

John Kael Weston has spent four years as a State Department political officer in Iraq.

International Meeting Day 2009

In a sick, sick, sick [double-sick] celebration of meetings and the ridiculous nature of some of the meetings I and colleagues attend we have decided to continue our tradition of International Meeting Day (IMD for short).

It all began last year during a stressful strech of time that we were in more meetings than our actual offices. My (self-declared) witty tendencies led me to start a memo and agenda for the next meeting to plan a meeting while I was still in a planning meeting. This quickly led to a circulated document that grew into several pages as email upon email saw additional items slapped onto the agenda (comedy is just life recognized for what it is). Since we were too busy at work to revist IMD in March I am once again taking it upon myself to be the instigator of all things unprofessional. I am the unofficial IMD co-commissioner, with powers delegated to me by the committee that bestows office powers of influence (over no one).

Portions of last years agenda included, but were not limited to:

2008 Theme: The Perfect Meeting

10:30 Distribution of official “Int’l Meeting Day” cupcakes and Meeting Appreciation session

11:00 Breaking the Ice: Putting the “meet” in Meetings

11:30 How to Avoid Redundancy in Meetings

12:00 Using Technology to Record Meetings for Posterity: Why All Meetings Will Heretofore be Preserved for Your Future Viewing Pleasure

12:30 Conducting Efficient Meetings: Avoiding Repetition

1:00 Proper Attire in Meetings: Why the Clothes Really Do “Make the Woman”

1:30 Using Facilities to Their Best Effects: Where to Conduct Your Meetings

2:00 Budgeting your Time: How to Avoid Deficits

2:30 Breakout Sessions

Group A: Making the Most of Your Meetings: Avoiding “Agenda Overlap”
Group B: Making Your Meetings Efficient: How to Escape the “Redundancy Trap”
Group C: “No, You Can’t Go to the Bathroom!”: Meeting Breaks and the Shortage of “Comfort Facilities”
Group D: Modest Expectations: Avoiding Verbosity and Delusions of Grandeur in Meetings
Group E: The Key to Successful Events: Why It’s Crucial to Have Multiple Meetings
Group F: The Psychology of Togetherness: Why Boredom Alone isn’t Enough Justification for a Meeting
Group G: Business Attire: Why Clothes Really Do “Make the Man”
Group H: Impromptu Meetings: Conducting a Meeting Without Advance Preparation
Group I: Fundraising: How to Pay for Donuts and Coffee
Group J: The “Just One More Thing Syndrome”: How to escape before it manifests itself (via videoconferencing)
Group K: The limits of multi-tasking: Why you shouldn’t lead more than one meeting at a time.
Group L: The Key to Success: Using Plausible Deniability and Inaccountability to your Benefit

2:45 Wrap-up: Discussion leaders summarize the “takeaway points” from each breakout session.
3:00 Action Items: Bugaboo or Benefit?
3:30 Calisthenics
4:00 Strategic Seating: How to Grab the Seat Nearest the Exit
4:30 Snow Removal: Plans for 2008-09 and distribution of emergency shovels and safety flares
5:00 Meeting Agendas: Avoiding Verbosity and Wordiness
5:30 Wrap-up: What We’ve Learned Today
5:55 ½ Assignments for Int’l Meeting Day 2009

15-Minute Video Break: Weekend Edition

I admit, there are times that I visit Youtube at work. There are at least three of my coworkers that send links constantly and sometimes you just need to share things with those you love.

Inspired by 3-Minute meals, here is your quick and dirty 15-minute video break (weekend edition for those that don't have access at work).

The girls from Laguna Beach were at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone grand opening in Vegas a year ago (aka my 31st birthday party) and yes, they are this substantive & the couch was a drama couch (True Story).


I spent a few years of my life as a Summer Camp Director for teens in Texas. There were a few that brought their homemade versions of Tickle Me Emo, if only this came to market they would make bank (even Truer Story).


Because MTV Cribs has nothing on helping people with "their ugly"...watch & learn people, watch & learn.

Table #4

It's not every night you get to have dinner with the former President of Colombia (the country, Columbia is the university). Cesar Gaviria definitely has opinions on US foreign policy so it was fun watching the faces of the international scholars at my table. The man was as fun to watch as he was to listen to. The next time I play charades (which I hope is not for a very long time) I now know how to act out: Chewing Cocoa Leaves.

I admit, anyone who gets a knock on their door at home by Fidel Castro has my attention.

Table #4 was the place to be Thursday night, where were you?

Where the Wild Things Are (finally)

One of my favorite books of all time. Who knows how the movie will fare, the book only has 10 sentences...but the monsters look true to form.

Post Secret @ USU

What's your secret?