Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Reckless Abandon(ment of work duties)

Last Friday I got reacquainted with my inner child. We have been estranged for quite some time. This small self-imposed intervention involved skis, a day pass to Deer Valley, and an honest ditch day from work. I knew it was long past due when everyone was startled at my declaration that I was taking the day off just to take the day off. Seems I have become a common-law wife to my job. We have been together for so many months that we have done the equivalent of a Vulcan mind meld; we were one.

I am not my job. I am not my job (or so I internally chant week in and week out).

This was premeditated and done without regard to what was on my calendar for that particular Friday. The weather channel was monitored throughout the week to ensure fresh snow combined with blue skies. As luck would have it my Friday off came with the bonus of being the conjoined twin of President’s Day so I gifted myself a 4-day weekend. That’s right, not just a 2-day weekend, not just a 3-day weekend but a 4, a 4, a 4-day weekend for the price of one (now go back a re-read that sentence with the inflection and volume of Billy May’s from the OxyClean and Kaboom commercials).

The morning amounted to a balmy 18 degrees at the base of the mountain. With the promise of blue skies by noon and a mountain that would be packed the remainder of the weekend I grabbed the gear and began my Friday of freedom. By the time I hit the top of the first lift I was more relaxed than I had been in weeks. After having 100+ ski days at Deer Valley back in ’99-’00 this place is like a second home. The only other place that can compare would be La Jolla shores and that's just too far to travel for a day off.

I forgot how much fun the conversations on a ski lift can be. Skiing by yourself you are joined by a cadre of personalities. It’s the 4-minute version of sitting next to a stranger on an airplane. You never know if they are full of it, faking an accent, or are your next new friend. On my second lift ride I joined two stuffy gentlemen that completely ignored my existence and a teenager that had the angst of a trust fund. After passing the third or fourth pole the older men were deep in conversation about other ski resorts, namely Beaver, CO. I tried to stay aloof and scout out the next trail for my descent when the kid on my left started to giggle and shake. He looked at me as if he had just passed gas or lit the fuse to a series of cherry bombs in the cafeteria trashcan. With his eyes darting between my face and the two old guys I gave a confused look and then his head twitched towards the old men. His non-verbal cues quickly translated into “do you hear what they are saying?!” I gave heed to his not-so-subtle gesture and overheard:

Old Dude 1: “I love Beaver, I love Beaver! Once you do a long day of Beaver you can’t go back.”

Old Dude 2: “Nothing compares to letting loose on the backside of Beaver. You can slam it out all day. Beaver mornin’, noon, and night!”

All of the sudden this exchange was construed out of context and the teenager and I were a transformed into a version of Beavis & Butthead. The old men clearly knew that we were laughing at them and they knew why. Our insolence was childish and they tried to reflect the awkwardness onto us with a direct and condescending, “Do you have a problem with Beaver?” I was saved by the quick wit of the kid when, without missing a beat, he blurted out with the gusto of Amy Sedaris, “I love it, I LOVE BEEAAVVEERR! It’s the only place you can face plant mornin’, noon, and night!” Just as quickly as he blurted his proclaimation he was overcome with ADHD and reallocated his interest to the 5-kid pile up below us in ski school. I quickly became occupied with checking for text messages and Facebook updates. We all socially retreated and endured our trek uphill.

The eternity of silence that followed was maintained until we were two towers from unloading. The chair started to giggle with the chuckle of Old Dude 2 when he contracted the Beavis & Butthead disease. All he could say in between chuckles was “face plant.” We reached the crest of the mountain, parted ways and enjoyed the anonymous nature provided by head-to-toe ski gear. The kid and I crossed paths only once more that day. After lunch I headed toward Bald Mountain where he saw me from his lift chair and shouted “Face Plant!” I laughed and realized that I can never go skiing at Beaver, CO for the simple fear of face planting.

True Story.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Facebook has been tainted - Damnation to the Notes section

This is the very reason why I hated the thought of a "Notes" section on Facebook - this is opening the whole email questionnaire / FWD to my profile. Yet, I still yield and fill the damn thing out. For further depth into my distaste for email FWD and group email questionnaires read my post here. Enjoy the eerily true answers my iTunes found for the following questions:

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag whoever you want including me
5. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Hanging Tough - New Kids on the Block (I kid you not - I didn't even know I had this song let alone that it would fit this question)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Madskills - Mic Chekka [remix]

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
SportsCenter Theme - Jock Rock

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Uh, Ungawaa - Unknown (true dat my friend, true dat)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Fall in a River - Badly Drawn Boy (not quite getting this one, maybe my life has swept me away and I will end up at the ocean at the end of the day - highly unlikely)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Stab My Back - All American Rejects (does this mean I am self-destructive?)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
All I Want Is More - Reel big Fish (my ego just inflated)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Perfect - Alanis Morissette (This is getting hilarious - thank you iTunes!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Can't Buy Me Love - Beatles (I think I just peed my pants)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR FIRST KISS?
The Duel Scene - Far and Away [Soundtrack] (iTunes just confirmed the messy situation that it was)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND(s)?
They - Jem (I will translate this into the answer: I think "They" are Jems)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Clean Breaks - Dashboard Confessional (this is turning into the Ouija Board of Facebook Notes)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Love You 'Till the End - Pogues Mahone

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
It Takes Two - Into the Woods [Soundtrack] (What a loaded answer, title and album, to a simple question)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
On My Own - The Used (WTF? Really? It's probably spot on, sad)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Running Behind - Sense Field (So how funny is this?)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
(Today I Met) The Boy I'm Going to Marry - The Crystals (Prop 8 anyone?)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Snow - Craig Armstrong (Funny, I went skiing on Friday and didn't cry once)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
How Good It Can Be - The 88 (yes, my goodness is a bit of a secret)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Life in Technicolor - Coldplay (please, winter go away and let spring bring back some color to Utah)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Can't Break Her Fall - Mat Keraney (not sure how to interpret this one, they all can't be hilarious)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
The Great Houdini - A New Found Glory (fitting, very fitting)

Friday, February 13, 2009

It's so cold you can see it...but it's still worth it

One of my all-time favorite places, it's a little bit better when it's
not windy and 20 degrees.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Eye Run Knee

In the book of short stories that is my life I was happy to close the last chapter penned by Alanis Morissette. Her unyielding theme of “isn’t it ironic?” made me not want to answer her follow up question of “don’t’cha think?”

The trigger event that made me default back to "irony" in my life is simple. Monday I called to setup a session with a tried and true grief counselor, Christina (for those uninitiated, 2008 was the year of death for too many family and friends). You can imagine my surprise when the voice on the other end of the phone quietly relayed the following information:

“I’m sorry but she passed away this weekend due to complications from a car accident last Thursday.”

As I searched for the appropriate reply the secretary helped me out and interrupted my mental silence with a gracious “feel free to call back on Wednesday, we will have more information then.”

In the past 12 months I have learned many things about myself, one being that I can find something funny in almost any situation. This was not one of those situations, at least not initially.

Monday already had me down for the count with the creepy crud that everyone at work has so freely shared. My eye wouldn’t stop twitching, my nose was running, and my joints were sore – especially me knees. I was hopped up on over the counter cocktails and trying to sleep through the Rock Band marathon my perma-high pothead neighbor was participating in. While buried under my 5 blankets it hit me.

My epiphany of grief counseling is that I am able to deal with this situation without needing to talk to someone about it. I can recognize how I deal with this set of circumstances in my life and it is manageable. I kept thinking:

Christina would get a good laugh about all of this. If she can, so can I.

Embrace the irony of life, if you don't have enough I have an ample supply and I'm willing to share.