Personality Quiz: Judge Me By My Movies - Not a Questionnaire

For as long as there has been email there have been quizzes and questionnaires that present themselves as social divining rods that place you in simple, pigeonholed classifications. Are you a nurturer, a leper, giving, or needy? Are you compassionate, selfish, a leader, or a wallflower? For some reason answering 20 fill-in-the-blank questions or complying with “delete my answers and insert your own then forward to everyone you know” has the power to cast you as a red, yellow, blue, or white personality. Who needs to read books, visit with a therapist, or internalize deep questions when all you really need to decide is are you hugs or kisses, chocolate or vanilla, and who is most/least likely to reply?

Well in the spirit of all things asinine I am going to present you with my own personality test. One that has no relevance to anything other than what you can take away from my choice of DVD purchases. Mind you, these are not what I have rented or what is on my top 10 list. These are movies I have either inherited, been gifted, or spent my own dollar on. My subconscious decisions to keep or dismiss a movie are similar to the dilemma of the decision maker found on such fine TV shows as ElimiDate or Parental Control (translated as: there is a method to my madness but it is particular to each movie – no broad, sweeping checklist for what stays or goes). I am unable to list those that have been shunted to the trash so, just like online personality tests, this just got even more unscientific.

Sure there are plenty of movies I would like to own but I have restrained my purchases to a minimum. I have not gone down the path like some that buy a movie rather than Redboxing it. They have a collection of titles that triggers a “what the hell were you thinking when you bought this?!” response. The reply is usually along the lines of, “I thought it could be good” or my personal favorite, “It was on sale for $2.99, so worth it! Right?”

The only time I have ever found myself internally debating the “it is on sale” defense was at a local grocery store as a group of friends were discovering the treasures in the bin by the registers. I saw two classics that had to come home with me. The original Vacation and Fletch – two classic Chevy Chase flicks that would eventually sustain me as I went 6 weeks without cable after moving. That fact alone speaks volumes to who I am but in an attempt to add fuel to the fire (like an arsonists in an oil field) here is a list of the small video vault that resides in my ottoman:

(In no particular order, seriously)
National Lampoons Vacation, The Baxter, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Clue, Hot Fuzz, Blazing Saddles, Labyrinth, Office Space, American Beauty, Casino Royale, Fletch, In Bruges, The Big Lebowski, Psycho Beach Party, B.A.P.S., Nacho Libre, Seasons 1-3 of the Family Guy, Season 1 of MXC, The Sandlot, Toy Story 1 & 2, BMW Films: the Driver, Saints and Soldiers, Spellbound, Super Size Me, Saved, Goldmember, Zoolander, Young Frankenstein, Top Gun, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Airplane!, Waiting for Guffman, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the Goonies, Three Amigos, Teen Wolf 1 & 2, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Spaceballs, Step Into Liquid, Riding Giants, and Career Opportunities.*

*I confess that Career Opportunities is not actually mine. It has been high-jacked from my friend Mason, the czar of movies. I have watched it about 5 times in the past 2 months and think it is a sleeper classic of the 80’s. If you haven’t seen it you can always come over and watch it before Mason demands I return it.

So mull those over and try and figure out what my personality is. There is a story behind every purchase and I can elaborate extensively on each one (if required).