For anyone that has known me long enough you know that I tend to get very VERY specific cravings. It would get me in trouble while living in Texas because I had no problem driving an hour (sometimes a lot more) just to satisfy what my stomach desired. I use the word “our” because my stomach and I are two distinct beings. When it gets hungry enough it will carry our conversations and blurt out its demands in the form or some of the loudest growls and grumbles known to the scientific community. Helen Keller would be scared to death by the sudden and violent declarations from my social stomach.
I figure, my body knows when it needs carbs – it’s when I get amped for chicken pasta salad and a baked potato; when it needs protein – I find myself in the butcher shop at the local grocer; when it needs glucose – I can chug cranberry juice like an alcoholic at a free all-you-can-drink beer garden (keep the bladder infection comments to a minimum).
Moving on…tonight I found myself at Smith’s (Kroger to the rest of the world) searching for a treat that I had discovered two weeks ago: Chocolate Chunk Pecan Cookies. They were the perfect example of a substantial cookie –the right level of chewiness and packed with chunks of, well chunks of chocolate and pecans. I had a new favorite on my list and I wasn’t going home without those tasty morsels in my bag.There were two tables of cookies near the bakery and not one package that had a label that included “pecans.” I circled the table at least two times before I started stacking and rearranging each clear plastic container. It never occurred to me that they might not always have this variety or that they could all be gone. I knew in my heart of hearts that one was hiding – one that was ready to come home with me. After constructing small towers resembling the New York City skyline I was trying not to panic as each one was simply labeled Chocolate Chunk or Oatmeal Walnut.
Here is where the After-School Special portion of my story comes in…as I was about to give up and ask an employee for help I saw what could be, what I hoped would be, what really was…Chocolate Chunk Pecan. (Never give up on your dreams kids, never.) I caught myself whispering a sharp self-congratulatory “ha!” It got the attention of another shopper but at this point there was no room for self-consciousness. Who could be embarrassed by the fact that they were in possession of the only box of these cookies in the whole store? I had rearranged two tables of baked goods looking for this one package. It was a strange yet good feeling. My stomach approved and allowed my brain to start thinking about other essentials like milk, cereal, and fruit. I casually gathered my other items and headed for the self-checkout. It was a productive trip to the grocery store but time to get home and bust open those cookies.
The kicker of it all…I know, you are asking how could there be more? You got the damn cookies dude! Well, I got home, unpacked the goods, poured a glass of cold milk and took two cookies for the victory banquet. My first bite was filled with expectations, expectations of chewy chocolate and subtle hints of cinnamon and nutmeg goodness. As anyone familiar with Windows Vista can relate to, my cookie was dry, cracked, and not quite like the last version. How quickly these cookies were taken off my stomach’s list of desired desserts.
Betrayal of the worst kind: dining inconsistency
(For those that might be wondering, of course I didn’t throw them out – I dipped them in milk and pretended that I just didn’t waste $4 on a dozen Chocolate Chunk Pecan doorstops)
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