An ode to Max Hall: By Paul Rolly

http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_13902030

Tribune Columnist
Updated: 12/01/2009 03:54:29 PM MST

*This is reposted from the link above - think of it as a creative way to respond to the Classless response on being Classless (this is the only time I will post about this event).

Let it die people, it's football, it's a rivalry, and it's what happens when you give a microphone and audience to emotionally immature college athletes).

- - -

(To the tune of the Whiffenpoof song: "We are poor little lambs who have lost our way, Bah, Bah, Bah ...")

My name is Max Hall and I hate you all,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

I'm a Cougar QB and you're mean to me,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

When I played a game my family came,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

They had to fear, someone threw a beer,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

It doesn't matter who it was,
Waa. Waa. Waa.

You're all to blame, just because,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

So the Ute coach's wife got hit in the face,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

I don't care cause she's not on MySpace,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

'Cause I am good and you are not,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

I'll go to heaven and you'll be hot,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

You're all so mean 'cause you yell "Boo,"
Waa, Waa, Waa,

We're so much nicer at BYU,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

So your cheeleaders once got hit with snowballs,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

It's 'cause the Ute refs made many bad calls,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

So what if you have an institute,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

You're no true believer if you're a Ute.
Waa, Waa, Waa.

You say naughty things and your drink contains malt,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

I think it's all Obama's fault,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

And why do you keep picking on me?
Waa, Waa, Waa.

Our P.R. folks wrote an apology,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

There is a reason your players wear red,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

You're all commies at heart and in the head,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

If you live in Salt Lake, you're a liberal too,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

And yours is the town that has a zoo,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

When you act out and yell at us,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

It's because you have that sleazy MUSS,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

But when our good folks raise a voice to you,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

It's in a righteous way 'cause we're BYU,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

I hate you though we've never met,
Waa, Waa, Waa,

You're all exactly the same, I bet,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

And I hate you even when I can't see,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

That's because you're not just like me,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

If you think I'm a whiner, oh what the heck,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

We'll get support from our friend Glenn Beck,
Waa, Waa, Waa.

prolly@sltrib.com