7-year-old avoiding church at great lengths (& speeds)

I love that a 7-year-old boy in Utah stole the car in order to avoid church. Seems he took his salvation in his hands but will be forgiven after he is baptized at the age of 8.

Let the video load and them jump towards the end. Can't imagine the reaction on the cops face when the little guy jumps out and runs into his garage.

Video Break

Classy videos to make you laugh while you trudge through Friday morning:

there are more at the everythingisterrible blog.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation: Part II, The Narrows

[Roll the R’s people, like in Spanish class. It’s the Narrrrrrrows]

Summer vacation at last. Here is my tale of the road trip that almost wasn’t. The threat of flash floods and threats from coworkers about my eminent demise in such flash floods had me scrambling for a Plan B, C, D,…H. Instead of hiking the Narrows we could go to Vegas, LA, San Diego, San Francisco, Catalina Island,…but we kept the faith, endured to the end and were rewarded for our patience (and stupidity).

Day 1: Hurry Up & Wait

We got a late start on the road. The weather in Salt Lake was less than desirable (all the more reason to get the heck outta Dodge). I spent the morning doing laundry and shopping for last minute things that I don’t need.

We arrived in Springdale (the little town next to Zion National Park) a little late and opted to upgrade from a campsite to a hotel room. I know, I’m not a camping purest but it helps that Jesse & Brian were easily swayed for the change of sleeping venue: setting up camp in the dark, unpacking early to catch our morning shuttle v beds, showers, and cable TV. (Hotel wins)

Day 2: The Blind Leading the Blind [hiking not to scale]

6 hours. That is how long it generally takes to reach campsite 6, our ultimate destination for the first round of hiking. Make your guesses now how long it took us…I’m setting the under/over at 8 hours. (hint: it took longer than 8 hours)

The off-road shuttle bus took about 2 hours to get us to the drop spot. After being left in the middle of nowhere we headed down stream (under the assumption that we shouldn’t use the road that had a No Trespassing sign). Armed only with a narrative listing of what we should be seeing, passing, and hiking through with extra help from a visitor center map we played ‘follow the leader’ through boggy marshland. After an hour or so doubt crept into Jesse’s mind and we had to face the reality that we might be headed in the wrong direction. Turns out we should have been on a Jeep trail instead of a stream bed. Pressing forward, in search of an abandoned cabin at mile 3, we were silently elated that the cabin existed. After an impromptu photo shoot we kept a leisurely pace into the canyon and eventually the Narrows. Eventually we had lunch, tested out the water purifier and I managed to drop my camera in the river. Never fear the camera still worked, I couldn’t change the settings and the flash was permanently disabled but it worked. As the sun started to descend in the sky so did our hopes of reaching campsite 6, we hadn’t even seen campsite 1 yet. We picked up the pace and our anxiety quickened proportionately. We played a game of reenacting or quoting memorable scenes from Jurassic Park, I dubbed the game Feed Me a Line. Turns out Brian is an idiot savant when it comes to remembering movie lines. He won and deservedly so.

The shadows in the canyon stretched down on us just as we hit campsite 1. A new river joined us and the rushing water doubled in cubic inches. The nice riverbed rocks morphed into slippery bowling balls and we stayed our course with grumblings from Brian and myself, Jesse decided to start singing (classic coping mechanisms). With each zigzagging of the river we kept a lookout for campsite designations. We contemplated setting up camp at 4 or 5 but, of course, they already were filled with hikers (the first people we had seen all day). With darkness officially surrounding us we broke out the headlamps and flashlights. After 5 minutes of the death march Jesse spotted Campsite 6 up in the brush. We set up camp, hung up our soaked clothes, cooked the best chicken & rice (and worst lasagna ever) & fell fast asleep.

Day 3: 6 Hours Left [Says Who???]

With the newfound knowledge that our pace was well below the “average” hiker we wanted to ensure that we got out of the Narrows before the next sunset. Somehow this knowledge didn’t translate to an early departure. We woke up late and were feeling the brunt of bruised toes and sore knees. We eventually hit the point of having to “go swimming” with our packs (glad they floated). We rested when we needed and screamed every time one would stub their toe. Jesse eventually stopped taking pictures every 10 minutes (his dry bag got scratched and was problematic, hope some of his pictures turn out).

After what seemed to be 100’s of twists and turns through the Narrows we were gradually joined by other hikers headed down stream (a sign that the end was within grasp). I knew we were close when old ladies puffing on cigarettes were hiking with us (PS: who the hell goes to a National Park and lights up cancer sticks?!). After reaching the trail terminus and posing for our “After” photo we tackled the paved path to the shuttle. This short path turned out to be about 2 miles long and felt like it might never end. The shuttle got us back to the visitor’s center just in time to hike to the city shuttle stop (this hike was never going to end!). When we got to the hotel/outfitter stop I was the last one to grab my stuff and complete my own version of the walk of shame through the bus; tired, smelly, mentally exhausted, and afraid of falling down the shuttle steps from fatigue. To my surprise, I looked down and there was my boss with his family boarding the shuttle as the headed to dinner.

Yes people, I went on vacation and my boss happened to find me 100’s of miles away from the office in a desert canyon town. But wait…we also ran into each other at dinner and discovered they were 4 doors down from us at the hotel we were checking into. I couldn’t script stuff like this!

Day 4: Curtain Call

With a good night sleep and aching bodies we all opted to hide out at the hotel all day. Angels Landing can wait for another trip; I couldn’t hike up steps let alone a hike that is rated as Stair Master difficult (according to the brochure). We borrowed some DVDs from the front desk and watched HBO only leaving for meals. This day was the dream of slackers everywhere. The curtains were drawn and daylight was barely seen.

We eventually traveled back into the park for an easy hike up to see the sunset. My vertigo kicked in a bit when looking over the edge of the cliff. Brian got a little too close to the edge, Jesse wasn't too happy, I waited for one of the unattended kids to run off the edge in defiance to their parents. All-in-all, a great day.

Day 5: Class .5 Rapids

After packing up and hitting the Spotted Dog for a breakfast buffet we headed back to the Zion Adventure Company outfitters for inner-tube rentals. For $15 we spent our last 2 hours in town drifting down the river. The water was cold, the rapids were mild, and the laughter was in great supply. We kept ending up in the vegetation on the banks and accosted by stray three branches. When we weren’t getting stuck on rocks and sand bars we were linked 3-abreast headed down what really was nothing more than an over glorified stream. After we passed under the 2nd bridge we hoofed it up to the road and waited for the shuttle. We looked like misguided hitch hikers that preferred to suntan on inner-tubes than walk another step. I love us. With a quick stop at Oscar’s on the way out of town we munched some lunch and hit the road back to the other Zion: SLC. Brian was a trooper and drove the entire way home. Jesse napped and I enjoyed the masterfully selected playlist (Craig Armstrong was just right for the drive through desolate Utah, aka Middle Earth). A few hundred miles later we were back home and trying to figure out how to wear work shoes with busted feet and pulled quads.

Vacation is awesome. True Story.

Diary of a Housesitter

Once upon a time there was a boy named Matt. His entire life he had never been referred to as Goldilocks, never been a princess with a sleep disorder, and never had hair long enough to allow free climbing up a tower. What does this have to do with anything you might ask? Well, this summer has given him the chance to housesit for a professor and this opportunity has provided a chance to sleep in multiple beds to find one that is just right; choices from a single mattress to pillowtop; craftmatic adjustable to sleep number; and to top it off, a bedroom view that is from up on high.

The fact that he can see his office from the dining table is a pro (and a con) but being able to see the wicked storms roll in from the east is just like back home in San Diego. Maybe now he can sleep through the night without the homeless people hanging out at the One World Cafe dumpster diving for Olympic gold.

We shall see which bed is just right in due time but for now he should let down his hair (Rapunzel style) and let people come on up to the tower (at least for dinner and the hot tub).

Next Diary of a Housesitter: Cooking it up gourmet style

Uphill Battle

The worst part about having a wall of windows in your office is that you can see the great weather you are missing out on. Instead of sitting in my office debating about all of the things I could be doing outside I decided to take a stand, I declared Wednesday a half-day. [shocking]

I checked a few webcams at the mountain resorts, checked the weather forecast, sent out a text to a trusty friend, checked in on a few projects, and coworkers, and then I closed the laptop, shut my office door behind me and didn’t look back. I hadn't planned on it but I used this hike as an opportunity to break-in my new hiking/canyoneering shoes (bought for my trip to the Narrows this month). They were a little big out of the box but I had to put them to the test sometime, right? They were spot-on. Perfect shoes & well worth the money.

I love to hike Bald Mountain at Deer Valley in the early spring and late fall so it was a natural pick for this leisurely Wednesday trek. Jesse and I drove up to the Silver Lake Lodge and started a “quick hike” that would allows us enough time to get back down the valley for our separate meetings that started at 6:00 PM. Our intentions of a quick hike were modified due to one of us having a leg day at the gym the day before and the need to just have a relaxing time in the mountains. Jesse had his camera and needed some time to get inspired; he is not one to take the same picture that he knows everyone else has taken. [He’s quite talented behind his new Canon camera]

On a quick side note, one thing I like about Jesse is that he is an avid reader of blogs and always has the best talking points. He shares some great stuff through Google Reader and I know whatever it is it won’t be a waste of time. I can only relate it to being the exact opposite of those people that insist on emailing FWD’s that involve a quiz, a chain letter, a mystic story, or some extremist message (you know the type). If it’s not interesting it’s not going to complete his sentence of “So, there’s this blog I’ve been following and they were saying…” Case in point, after not taking too many pictures he shared a quote from a photography blog about how “no matter where you are, there are 10 great pictures within 10 meters.” Truer words.

Any way, by the time we made it to the top of Bald Mountain there was no way that we were making it back to the car, let alone Salt Lake City, before 6:00 PM. We had fun taking pictures and talking about the upcoming trip to the Narrows. I don’t think my 2-megapixel iPhone really compared to his digital SLR but I still put forth a valiant effort.

The weather allowed for us to be conveniently lazy in our descent, not too cold and just enough of a breeze to remind us a storm was rolling in. In typical fashion we were starving and ready for some good food. With our combined short-term memory loss of what is good to eat in PC we ended up pitting a Blackberry and an iPhone against each other for a final destination (also the name of a movie we couldn’t remember).

After scarfing a bucket of chips and two dishes of salsa we were quickly stuffed by our main dishes. Needless to say, we were happily pregnant with food babies. With the late return to the city we both missed our 6:00 meetings, I missed an 8:00 softball game (sorry guys) and opted to go see Observe & Report (the mall cop movie with Seth Rogen). Sadly, the movie was barely worth the $1.25 but we still found moments worth laughing at. If anything, I have an appreciation for the daily routine of a mall cop. I will gladly take a frustrated afternoon locked up in my office, looking out the window, instead of patrolling the Valley Fair Mall as a rent-a-cop. Then again, I will gladly take a half-day the next time the weather is nice and I can manage a few hours on away from my desk.

True story.

What I did this Summer (take 1)

Sure, the retelling of "what I did this summer" usually happens when you get back from vacation and stand in front of your elementary school class. A bag of sand, a few seashells and a postcard "wishing you were here" all splayed in front of oohing and ahhing classmates. A silent tension, everyone vying for who did the coolest things while away from the confines of the classroom is a highlight of the fall term.

I figure if I wait until September I will forget the best (mis)adventures of the summer so here we go with round one. Memorial Day weekend officially kicks off all things summer. Somehow growing up we always ended up leaving California and coming to Park City, Yellowstone, or the national parks in and around Utah. Now that I live here I want to return to California but since Hunter is up from Houston (& I just went to CA) we stuck it out close to home for Memorial Day weekend. Here is what I learned over these fine 3 days of summer vacation:

-Bonfires can potentially be ruined by friends inviting friends of friends and having said individuals consists of tools, posers, sheltered bubble children, and those that want their lives to be as “exciting as the Hills.” How could I forget, there are also those kids that still communicate exclusively through insider mission stories (WTF?!). In this situation one must use patience as a weapon of choice and wait out the needy, they will find shiny objects elsewhere.

-Enjoyment of particular bonfires can be maintained by ignoring passive aggressive people that feel entitled to attention and act out like spoiled children when they don’t get what they want. Bonus points to the whack job that couldn't stay behind with a swine flu cough and camped out at a nearby picnic table coughing for all the sympathetic ears. This sickly individual sure could gobble a charred brawt when it came time to eat though, she had a magic gullet.

-Events that are spontaneously planned should still be planned enough to include a destination and communication to the socially infirm (see friends of friends of friends) so they can make it to the mountainous destination without having to run red lights in a game of vehicular follow-the-leader.

-It’s OK to expose posers for what they are. Especially when the dinks can’t even talk the talk to begin with. Example: whitebread, flatbrim hat wearing Utah rappers that barely have fireside cred let alone street cred (Yo, yo dawg. Next time leave TightyWhitey & Crew off the guest list).

-Trips to Park City for the Alpine Coaster/Slide can be derailed by surprise guest appearances by girlfriends of friends of friends that exhibit unjustified demands and socially aggressive behavior. Good thing this one was kept in check from the click of her 3-point seat belt. Too bad the nagging could be heard throughout the stillness of the Aspen trees at PCMR. Auditory deflection can be used to block out sniveling tantrums, some people are as transparent as scotch tape (Caution: it's OK to put baby in the corner in this situation).

-When there is a possibility of defaulting to a bad dining destination one must fight passive aggressive behavior with matter-of-fact statements like: “no” and “we shouldn’t waste our money there.”

-Shopping with great people can make the outlets fun, if not completely entertaining.

-Doing expensive things with cheap people can be trying at times (especially when expensive starts at the "anything over $10 level). Red Rock Brewery trumps the Baja Cantina at PCMR any day of the week, suck it up and pay the extra $5.

Lessons all worth learning, I just wish they weren't so "trial and error" while Hunter is in town from Houston. Next time the pesky people come swarming I will pack my repellant. Deet works on people too ya know.

I feel the need, the need for speed

Can you hear me now?

It seems that a few photos didn't upload from yesterday so here are the highlights. The day ended up being quite hot and the sun reflecting off the water had me squinting for most of the afternoon. Maybe it had something to do with the shiny metal table that helped bake my face too but that's in the past now as I face the Monday ahead of me. In any event here are 3 quick pics to prove that the day was a little more San Diego than Seattle.

The Red Bull Helicopter is famous for flying upside down (shown here flying like any other helicopter). I would have posted a picture of the inverted chopper but it did most of its tricks right in the path of the sun. In the interest of not going blind I refrained from snapping those shots but I am sure there is video online somewhere.

Thanks to the helpful Red Bull flight attendants (& the creativity of Kate) I was able to join the group in the Race Club Section. Hooray for free food and all the water bottles you can carry.

The winning flight. Frenchman Nicloas Ivanoff. Not my favorite by a long shot but better than having Hannes Arch win again. Wish Mike would have made it to the final 4, 5th place makes for a short race day.

International Meeting Day 2009 (seriously)

* * * *

In case you can't read the posted disclaimer:
International Meeting Day 2009
Events canceled due to H1N1
Flu Outbreak at the Bakery

Help yourself to a discounted
Cookie!
(as a joke people, there's not an outbreak that I know of)

Almost forgot, here is the agenda for IMD 2009:

Theme: Putting the “IN” back in INternational Meetings

10:00 Distribution of official “Int’l Meeting Day” refreshments and MeetINg Appreciation session

11:00 Come IN & Sit Down: How to Chillax your next meetINg

11:30 INevitable Issues: plannINg on miracles & where to order them on the INternet

12:00 How technology can better INefficientize INternational collaboration and discussion (Podcast for iPhones only)

12:30 Dissecting the INsanity of an ABA visit

1:00 Getting INto Wallets, Polite PickpocketINg

1:30 RennovatINg with Main Campus IN 2 Easy Steps: How to play the 1) Request & 2) Wait game

2:00 INcreasINg revenue at home while decreasINg debt abroad (it’s IN the bag)

2:30 Breakout Sessions:

Group A: FINdINg Acceptance IN Rejection: Why didn’t I get INto law school?

Group B: INterrogating candidates to determine INtelligence

Group C: LivINg among mere mortals: my trials as a nINja in the workplace

Group D: The INs and outs of breakINg down the INsidious INclusiveness withIN the INner admINistrative Circle – How to Barter with Chocolate!

Group E: Video ConferencINg: making YouTube IN the office count

Group F: PlayINg It Safe: how to Bcc with the best of them

Group G: ImplementINg work plans IN 4 time zones with INtensity

2:45 Musical Interlude

2:55 Wrap-up: Discussion leaders summarize the “takeaway points” from each session.

3:00 INaction Items: What are those (& how do I get some them?)

3:30 Calisthenics: Facial Warm Ups: How to avoid INadvertent & INappropriate facial responses to coworkers

4:00 Strategic SeatINg: Life IN the back row, it’s better than you think

4:30 Snow Removal: June assignments

5:00 MeetINg Agendas: To Be Distributed via Courier Pigeons

5:30 Wrap-up: Take Aways (that you can remember)

5:55 ½ Assignments for Int’l MeetINg Day 2010

6:00 Final Thoughts

6:02 Schedule Next MeetINg

6:03 Smoke'em if you got'em (just no where near the building please)

Calling all personal shoppers – I need new board shorts!

Summer is almost here. Technically, May 15th is the end of the semester for my corner of the world aka law school…then it’s summer. In honor of the end of classes and newly silenced hallways I ditched out on work early today (a legit half-day) for a selfish errand. These types of selfish errands are something I really need to do more often, the “Me” in tiMe management has gotten lost in the past year.

I have issued an Amber Alert on new board shorts. Has any one seen a great pair of sartorial sweetness out there? You see, every year I make it a personal quest to pick up some gnarly new shorts, yea even like unto the level of rad.

Just as Monty Python produced a well-rounded group to search for the Holy Grail (& an opportunity to use the Holy Hand Grenade) so must I. In an effort to find the new addition(s) to my summer wardrobe I enlist my friends (& strangers) to one-up each other in finding me my new favorite board shorts. If you are out and about and see a pair of sweetness (size 31 or 32) take a picture, note the price and send it my way.

The ’09 season is already in full swing people. Keep and eye out and your camera phone at the ready. If you submit a winner I just might treat you to dinner (sun, surf, and sand subject to availability).

*The shorts posted here are examples of what won last year (translation: low probability of a repeat taking the prize again this year)

Franz Ferdinand

The spring/summer concerts have begun and Franz Ferdinand was the right way to start things off.

With a little arm twisting and emailing I got Brian to join me for aural extravaganza. The Smith's made it too, stalwarts at front row center seating.

The venue was perfect, the Avalon Theater is not too small, very personal. The fans made for prime people watching, so many huggers, so many freakishly tall people. The music was rad and the guys set a new standard for encores - it was a mini-show with instrumental props. When the band performed a drum solo (together, you had to be there) it reached Legen...wait for it...Dairy status.

Here are a few picks for those that missed out:

The Crowd

Group Drum "Solo"

Live Remix of a few tracks

Sonic Cranberry Limeade, perfect for post-concert dehydration

I'm sending out a S.O.S...from Table #7

This is what happens when friends don't call friends to bail them out of work obligations. I simply asked for one phone call by 7:00 PM tonight so I could be 'that guy' that has to mysteriously exit a dinner program. Did I get any love? N-O. Did I stay for the whole thing? Just look at the picture, seems the Marriott is now giving away flowery hair accessories with every dessert. Any takers?

PS: I missed out on Wicked for this, yes...this.

PC v Mac

Take a wild guess which side is running Windows and which is running OSX...I'm Matt and I'm a Mac!

TexMex on a whole new level

The things you miss out on when you no longer live in the Lonestar state.



This makes me cringe on a deep, deep level.

Held Hostage by LHM Pirates

There's nothing more annoying than being forced to sit in the waiting area for car service. It's only for tag renewals but I can't wait to hear all of the things malfunctioning on my car.

15-Minute Video Break: for your Monday morning

Just another way to spend 15 minutes on a Monday (because your inbox and to-do list can wait a little bit longer)

A keeper, my sister can quote this one all day long:


If Zac can't make it through freshman year of college how is there ever going to be a Law School Musical?:


Episode #2, because we all could use a little more "exuhcise."

15-Minute Video Break: Weekend Edition

I admit, there are times that I visit Youtube at work. There are at least three of my coworkers that send links constantly and sometimes you just need to share things with those you love.

Inspired by 3-Minute meals, here is your quick and dirty 15-minute video break (weekend edition for those that don't have access at work).

The girls from Laguna Beach were at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone grand opening in Vegas a year ago (aka my 31st birthday party) and yes, they are this substantive & the couch was a drama couch (True Story).


I spent a few years of my life as a Summer Camp Director for teens in Texas. There were a few that brought their homemade versions of Tickle Me Emo, if only this came to market they would make bank (even Truer Story).


Because MTV Cribs has nothing on helping people with "their ugly"...watch & learn people, watch & learn.

Table #4

It's not every night you get to have dinner with the former President of Colombia (the country, Columbia is the university). Cesar Gaviria definitely has opinions on US foreign policy so it was fun watching the faces of the international scholars at my table. The man was as fun to watch as he was to listen to. The next time I play charades (which I hope is not for a very long time) I now know how to act out: Chewing Cocoa Leaves.

I admit, anyone who gets a knock on their door at home by Fidel Castro has my attention.

Table #4 was the place to be Thursday night, where were you?

Mother Nature suffers from Battered Woman Syndrome

After dropping it like it’s hot ‘til the wee hours of the morning it was a bit of a shock to wake up to a snowstorm. 24 hours ago it was 60 degrees and I thought that spring was finally here.

Honestly, Mother Nature it was great while it lasted. The past few months have been great. Sure, there were a few moments that you were a ‘rage in a cage’ and we didn’t see eye-to-eye but we worked through our problems. True, there were a few times on the road that I would have gladly ditched you. On the other hand, I will cherish the times we spent at Deer Valley this year. Sledding wouldn’t be the same without you and your personal hook-ups. My friends really liked you; you were the hit at the holiday parties and helped make my birthday one of the best ever.

After Valentine’s Day we kind’a fizzled and by St. Patrick’s Day I was done. I’m not going to lie, it’s not you…it’s me. I used you for my needs, I’m a jerk, and I freely admit that. My friends told me that we should take some time apart and I agreed. We went our ways and I thought you understood how I felt and we were cool. Fast-forward to today and you are the psycho stalker that won’t go away!

Get the hint; we have a love-hate relationship and I can only handle you for a few months at a time. I’m more of a flip-flop, t-shirts and board shorts guy and you, you…well, you wear Ugg’s, snow parkas and thermal boarding pants. My winter clothes were packed away before spring break and here you are, hanging outside my door, clueless to how annoying you have become. Your sorry attempts to reignite our love are getting tired and clingy…girl, move on!

Then again if you want to go play this weekend, gimme a call and I’ll see what I can do. There's always room for a last ditch booty call, but after next weekend you really need to lose my number.

Bull $h!t

For some reason my parents decided to purchase a bull last week. [Feel free to reread that introductory sentence again if you need to] I cannot recount the timeline that resulted in the new addition to our family – other than it includes an online auction, an uncle with a cattle ranch in Oklahoma, and my parents becoming members of some cattle ranchers association.

Fast forward through my confusion and unbelief…Friday I found myself leaving work and packing for an unplanned trip to Rexburg, Idaho; home to Ramirez’ carne asada burrito’s, BYU Idaho, and Bear World (guess which one of the three appeal to me). As the universe would have it, the bull was in Idaho being prepped for shipment to Oklahoma this week so we had to go see it. As the ever-skeptical member of the family I was sure that this was April Fool’s a few weeks early. This had to be an elaborate way to get me to cross back into scenic Idaho, the home I never had. As always, the joke was on me (rather the joke was on me thinking this was a joke).

Friday night was upon us as my sister and I pulled into town minutes before my parents. It’s always great to see my brother and his family – they are the best. After 15 minutes of catching up it was on to more important things: food. As mentioned above, we headed out for Ramirez' Mexican food. It’s never a good thing to eat late at night but when I’m hungry and have a craving just try to talk me into something sensible. Grease, cheese, salsa, beans & beef - what's not kosher about that at 10:00 PM?

I spent a comfy night on the floor and awoke to the news that the bull had been shipped out the day before. HAH! I knew it was a joke. Our day at the ranch was quickly canceled and an alternate itinerary needed to be generated. Hmmm, what to do in Rexburg on a Saturday? We had already had the staple, local burrito the night before so of course that meant finding another place to eat…2+ hours later we were in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. If ever you doubted my family vacation plans are centered around food let this be your shining example.

After the 30-minute stroll around historic Jackson we discovered that T-Shirt makers founded the city and it has been the core commodity since tourists descended upon the great valley. We spent an undue amount of time pondering the fact that you can attach antlers to anything, and I do mean ANYTHING, and sell it at a huge markup. I learned that many park benches there have handles underneath them that open to the cave dwelling people from The Land of the Lost (Chaka, where are?). I was disturbed by the abandoned spoon and sock near the handle but I'm sure the rightful owner will reclaim these treasures when needed.

My father insisted on taking the long drive back so he could see the Snake River. He swiftly fell asleep in the passenger seat after 5 minutes on the road. The lethargy that follows a meal with sides of beans and rice are well known (as are the other side effects). The beauty of the Targhee forest was almost enough to distract us from the fact that my brother’s Yukon Denali had been instantly converted to a CNG (compressed natural gas) hybrid. Thank goodness for the square ice cream tourist trap out in the middle of nowhere, it was a welcomed chance to stretch the legs (I neglected to mention I worked out that morning and like an idiot, I worked legs). Eventually we returned to the village of Rexburg and got dinner started. My sister-in-law had tamales all ready to go (Mexican food was the theme for this trip if you haven’t figured that out yet) and my brother and I headed to the RedBox to see what was left. The funny thing about finding a movie in a college town on a Saturday night is that there are never any viable options. Complicating our situation was the reality of watching a film that the parents, a wife, and a sister would enjoy (this is an instant 3 strike rule). With a “borrowed” copy of The Taken in the DVD player we watched and learned to be fearful of Parisian prostitution rings and simultaneously wondered why we were eating Mexican food again?!

Another night on the floor and a solid kink in my neck made for a fun drive back to Utah. One might think that the freezing rain, snow, and road sludge were icing on the cake but that honor is reserved for our road trip lunch stop…Taco Bell. My expectations for dining while on the road are lowered and when having to select from the options in Blackfoot, Idaho they are severely lowered. We all have moments of weakness; this was more like a moment of disgrace.

As for the bull? Well, that could very well be just a load of bull $h!t. True Story.