Furnished apartment for the summer?

Turns out that I am housesitting (gratis) for the summer and will be ditching my apartment from June-August.

If anyone is interested in a well-furnished 1BR near the Catholic church on South Temple just let me know and we can talk numbers. It's a top floor, corner unit with covered parking. If it goes empty, which it probably will, let me know if you need a place for summer visitors (it’s better than having them crash on your couch or pay for a hotel).

Here are some pictures for curiosity sake:

Yes, that is an original Nintendo and it will be traveling with me for the summer.

Spring Cleaning (Online)

Spring break has almost come to a close and the rotation of winter wool slacks for summer shorts is almost complete. I have been going through boxes that have been in storage for years in an attempt to divest the old and streamline what stays. I’ve found everything from high school yearbooks to a hardback of Tuesdays with Morrie that I borrowed from D-Byrd years ago (dude, I will return it as soon as you send me an address).

In the tradition of spring cleaning I have applied the concept to the ever increasingly annoying realm of Facebook. I have long scorned the sidebar of “People You Might Know” and wondered how on earth would I know these people?! Part of the madness stems from those that appear in the “friends in common” near the unknown offenders profile pic (you know, that thumbnail that either looks like a prostitute, a cell phone self-portrait, or some baby picture that only a mother could love). In the hopes of minimizing the 6-degrees of separation between me and [insert the name of a childhood neighbor of your third cousin, twice removed here] I have gone back to removing “friends” that aren’t contributing to my life.

There isn’t really a nice way to say why you would remove someone from your friend list but really, if you have ever hit “add” as a courtesy you know the trouble this brings. Sure there are the options of limited profile viewing but then there are just those that bring about online baggage. Don’t feel bad if you are a casualty of spring cleaning 2009. I can’t lie and say it’s nothing personal, in all actuality that is the problem – there is nothing personal between us as Facebook friends.

Harsh reality for some, true story for me.

‘tis the Season

With an extended break from the office I decided to pick up my paint roller and finish what I started almost six weeks ago when I initially moved. With a paint sample in hand I headed to my local home improvement store to grab a gallon. I went with a knock-off shade of Restoration Hardware blue in hopes that it would compliment my knock-off Pottery Barn green living/dining room. With an hour of masking the molding and built-ins I cut in the edges and loaded up my roller. Mr. Miyagi would be proud of my skills with a brush.

Two coats later my initial doubt subsided and I was happy with the color balance. Here are a few pictures of how things turned out. The colors are not a perfect representation since the iPhone is 2 megapixels and without a flash. The pictures make it look a little bit Caribbean but it is more subdued in person. At some point I will have to start having people over for some house warming parties.

As for the rest of my holiday break I had plenty of quiet time. I slept in for the first time in years (past 8:30 is sleeping in for me but in the past week I haven’t gotten out of bed until 10:30). It was slothfully blissful. My sister and I spent Christmas with friends from San Diego and caught up on our nap schedule.

I had a moment of bravery and decided to go see the BodyWorlds exhibit. With sister in tow and a plastic bag in pocket we headed to the Leonardo to see the human body in all its glory (and strange positions). I made it through without passing out (girls faint, guys pass out) or having to vomit. When I saw the cross-section of the obese man I almost lost it but with a little Lamaze breathing and counting down from 10 I was back on track. After an hour we were shunted through the exit and concluded that it was nice of all the circus people to donate their bodies (there was the archer, some copulating acrobats, the swinging trapeze lady, and others). All in all I am glad that I got to see what I missed out on when the exhibit was in NYC. But just like a meal at an overhyped restaurant, you visit once – say you’ve been there and opt for another venue when it is brought up again.

The highlight was a contraband photo of the placenta. One girl had to explain to her boyfriend that Tom Cruise made a meal out of Kate’s and another group of teen girls traded stories of how their teacher in Draper made pills out of hers. All I could think about is how it was a round placenta lasagna, a freakin’ plasagna right there in the display case. Eeeewwww.


PS: The white elephant gifts found a new home and are greatly appreciated. They outlived their use protecting my car on the road – they looked too much like a bong collection.
PS: PS: I have busted through the 100 page mark on Atlas Shrugged. Only 950 or so more pages to go. Kirk might get it back by 2010. True Story

It's worth at least 1,000 Words

Thanks to Jesse Michael Nix for creating my Christmas card this year. It's like the sun, stare at it too long and you will go blind.

Merry Christmas and all those other holidays too (even Creolesmas).

My Tuesday (a poem to rival Dr. Seuss)

This morning I woke to quite the surprise
A snow storm, a white-out, the kind I despise
I left the house early to grab my family, my sis
The kids, their luggage, to the airport, a flight not to miss

Sugarhouse roads were as slow like cold tar
An hour had passed, we didn't get far
When the plows pulled their heads out and roads began to clear
We arrived at the airport with a plane on the tarmac and more to fear

A trunk and backseat filled with stuff to unpack
A suitcase, a stroller, two car seats, kids, a knapsack
We crammed into an elevator with one minor hitch
We jammed the door and my niece repeated my "son of a bitch!"

The plane had left by the time we got to the gate
My sister started to cry, Delta we could not hate
The employee was nice and we rebooked for a day later
Jack Frost, you bastard, my family is a certified hater

We compensated with a fast drive back for a breakfast feast
To the Original Pancake House, feed me a Bacon Waffle at least
Dirty diapers all around and a nephew soaked in vomit
Fabreeze the damn car, scrub the leather with comet

As the day settled down I got word from IT
My laptop was fixed, my pants I did almost pee
The rest of the day was awash, remembered as a flub
What could I do but hit the gym, write this poem, fill my bathtub

May my prayers to the Patron Saint of Wednesday's be heard
Give me a relaxing day at work, for your day that comes third
I hope you enjoyed my poem, my ridiculous day
Be good, smile, and remember tomorrow is not Tuesday.

Catching up...

...because I've been lackadaisical in updating my blog for the latter portion of the summer. It's been busy and I have fallen back on my mobile photo updates on Facebook to keep track on what has kept me ocupdao.

I put together a quick slideshow to carry you up to speed on what has caught my eye and kept my attention in the past few weeks. Too bad I can't upload it to Blogspot due to technical difficulties. That's what I get for not posting regularly and having too many photos in a slideshow I guess. I will post on FB and see if that works.

To make up for it I will post something above and then try to upload the video later but here are a few pictures worth posting:

My visit to the dump (aka the Journey concert when you take the wrong offramp)

The Alpine Coaster in Park City, Utah - worth every penny

This is a form of suicide for your knees - yes, I'm a pansie but made record time.

I made it out on the water at least once this summer
(I didn't quite master the wakeboard but I'm still smiling)

The Mollies adding some culture to the Apple Store @ the Gateway (check them out in iTunes)